September 14, 2007 - Friday
   

It’s my life. It’s your time.

Ahhh... a day off - I think this is exactly what I needed, although this is a strange time for me to be writing.  Writing in the evening seems to come much more natural to me, but at the moment it just feels like something I need to do now, and hey, I'm off today!  It's not every day I have this option.

As for these blogs I write from time to time, it's not unusual for me to find myself a year, a month, a week later, etc., thinking that maybe what I wrote, is just, well... bad; or just no longer what I want to express to anyone and everyone who might happen to wander onto my page and into my blog (a snapshot of my mind) - and no, I don't want to go private.  You might say sharing my private life and thoughts with everyone is like sharing the cards I've been dealt with my opponents... but life isn't a poker game, at least not to me.  I see it more as a celebration.  We've all won in some way, we've all lost as well, and now let's just shake hands, enjoy each other's company and make the best of what we got.  I'm a straight shooter that way.  If I can't express myself to virtually everyone, then I don't care to express myself to anyone.   

So how is it that something that feels so right at the moment of conception feels so lame on a later date?  It's not like I think I'm writing something that should be archived in the Library of Congress, but I almost invariably feel just after I've written that something in that writing expresses something either profound, absurd enough to be funny, sometimes but not so often, maybe even something poetic.  The hope is to express all three, all at once, in the very same writing.  Granted, I'm not the most poetic writer by any means, but I think I do have a relatively unique perspective that comes through in my writing.  The problem may be connecting my perspective with that of my readers, all 2 or 3 of them, and you know who you are.  I probably have a pretty good idea who you are as well, aside from the spam visitors and random blog readers.

Right now, some may know I'm attempting to land a pianist position on a major cruise line.  I'm fortunate enough to know someone where I work whose daughter performed as a singer on cruise ships for about 3 years, including Celebrity Cruise Lines.  It was through her experience that she was able to see the world, including going to the Baltic on her last trip.  I just shot an email to her today and I'm hoping to learn more about what to expect, how to go about applying for these positions, possible contacts, and any info she's willing to share with me.  I know this is something I can eventually do.  This is what I've decided I want to do, and that is what has always held me back, apathy and disorientation.  I've got more direction now than I've had in my entire life in all my previous years combined.  I feel confident this is one of the next steps for me in my fledgling music career, and I'll just leave it at that for now...

...We are happiest when we are growing and moving forward.  There is nothing more insidious than being in a state of stagnation, atrophy, moving backwards, or just plain moving in the wrong direction. 

I'm done now.  Thanks for letting me waste a moment of your time.

-- michael


Currently listening to:  See my playlist and profile song.  That should give you a pretty good idea.

Your writings are GREAT ... very poetic and profound no matter what mood you are reflecting at the moment. They are full of emotion and feeling, you write from your heart and soul. You can be sarcastic, cynical, humorous, melancholy, light-hearted, and no matter what your mood, you do have a talent with how you express it


"Thank you for landing paradox his cruise line pianist position where he's making his career dreams come true and found his gorgeous and brilliant wife"  (if you've read "The Secret," then you'll get why I wrote that  )


 


Amen brother 

Okay, now that both Miraenda and paradox have turned into Optimists, what's to become of me?!  Who am I gonna be able to harass now?!! ... I am done for

Just wanted to throw my hat in to congratulate you and say how good it is to hear you speak with such confidence, optimism, and determination    What a cool job! 

Thanks, Ron.  We'll see how long it all lasts.  I'm sure it's nothing more than temporary insanity.  Just don't tell Leigh I said that.  

I think it's great you may be going out to sea to play music. That's a pretty cool gig. I'm not sure why Leigh is labelling me an optimist, a lot of those crazy optimists are delusional like that and want to try to pull up realists into their circle. Run as fast as you can!

I'm an optimist at times, I'm a pessimist at times.  Of course, I'm always aiming to be realistic, whatever the situation, but I know better than to think I always am.  I'm not sure what I'd consider myself.  I just know I don't do well with stereotypes and labels.  I need to be free from all that. 

Just wondering if anyone knows if myspace blogs will be fixed soon or if theres a new way to customize them with your own stylessheet now? Ive been trying for 2 days but it seem sto be to no avail. Ive tried all the newest blog layouts that are pre-made as well as making my own. Nada.

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